Month: March 2014

Using Scene Cards

One nice feature of screenwriting software is how it can aid in tracking scenes – allowing scene-specific text, providing scene reports and even providing the option to print scene cards.  Scene cards allow you to look at the flow of the story, reorder, remove and find gaps.  I have typically used hand-written index cards because sometimes the scene information that is automatically included in the software card isn’t clear enough (and usually I didn’t manually enter enough information to be helpful). I’m sure that all roles involved in film rely on the scene cards a lot, but I am focusing on the writer.  This writing tool would likely be useful for playwrights and novelists, as well.

Recently, I started using this tool again for my current rewrite.   First, I ran through my script and marked all of the scenes and numbered them.  Second, I made a card for each scene, then grouped them by storyline. This was hard at times because most of my storylines are fairly intertwined.

Scene Cards

Next, I marked each with a ‘-‘ or ‘+’ for the change in the main character (of the storyline) energy/emotion charge of the scene.  If there wasn’t one, I marked an ‘o’ – knowing I’d probably need to remove, change or replace the scene.

Later, I took advantage of the large tables at the community center, where my daughter is taking a class, to lay out the storyline cards. I made storyline “header” cards, in green.  I then faked a timeline, and spaced the cards according to time passing.


This exercise helped locate several issues and opportunities for different flow.  As I walked through the sequence, I started eliminating cards, marking some for edits, and putting in new placeholder cards (yellow). To preserve the timeline, I made purple cards to demarcate time (Day 1, Day 2, Week later, etc), and then stacked the whole story up in the new order.  On the back, I noted the new order number.

Today, I’m now using the cards to make modifications in Final Draft.  Some scenes are just placeholders, to be written after the restructuring. After I do the writing edits, I’ll do an overall analysis and check the state of the rewrite.

I recommend this exercise, it’s been very useful.

Script Review (Part 2): It’s Kind of a Funny Story

This post is a continuation from the last – a two part review of the script and movie It’s Kind of a Funny Story.

Part 2

Now having seen the movie, my general assessment from the read alone is confirmed – this version of story is lacking.  I actually was a bit antsy and frustrated watching, as I was at times suffering through scenes I had just crawled through in print.  Now, as I haven’t read the book, I don’t know if it’s just a miss on paring for the feature structure, or if the story fundamentally has a lack of flow and depth. I suspect there must be some elements of the novel that just aren’t carrying through, as the book is rated consistently high, unlike the film.  With such a rich opportunity for real emotion, the drama should work, and sparing that, comedy found – but nothing lands, for the most part.

It is unfortunate because I actually think the casting is pretty great. Keir Gilchrist really is a perfect match for Craig.  I think he did the best job handling his role and making it as real as possible.  I also think that Zach Galifianakis was a superb pick for Bobby.  Perhaps if he strayed from the script a little more and tried to help recover the timing of the lines, the lacking sincerity, the movie would have benefited.  Emma Roberts did pretty well but perhaps someone with a little more hidden beauty would have made more sense here.


Have you ever seen someone doing something and understand what they are trying to do, but seeing that isn’t quite doing it right or getting the effect they want? This is how it seemed to me.  Many of the dialogue exchanges seem ideas thrown in and not a natural progression.

Changes from the Script

This section is possibly more interesting because the writers also directed the movie.  Now, some of these changes certainly could have been made in editing. But that also was done by one of the writers!

–        Changes I understood

  • When Bobby returns from his interview, he’s upset, he’s worried he messed it up.  In the script it is described as a child-like tantrum on the couch, but in the film it is a bigger, more grown-up outburst.
  • In the script there are a couple of places where Craig imagines Aaron being present and chiming in.  This didn’t happen in the film.  I think that’s good as it takes the emphasis away from the frustration with Aaron and keeps the focus on Craig.
  • Noelle meeting parents was removed – for simplicity and not moving them along too far, I think it works.

–        Changes I didn’t understand

  • Left out parental help montage.  I thought this was a good way to show the parents have tried to help and he has a good support system.
  • Nia says therapist, not pills, when confiding to Craig.  I guess it might be good to not state all driven kids are on stress pills, but it lost some of the connection for them, I thought.
  • Overall change in the ending is for the better.  The scene and dialogue is condensed.


A few specific things bothered me the read, the film or both:

  • I don’t get the Cribs reference.  Some of the vision in the sequence about “what happens if you don’t get in” didn’t make sense.  A presidential person isn’t usually obsessed with pop culture.
  • Bobby should understand Craig, but doesn’t. This might not be fair, perhaps Bobby is where he is because he didn’t have it as “good” as Craig, but that really isn’t the point, right? Everything is relative. When you feel depressed, it really doesn’t matter what you have in your life that is good.
  • The brain maps don’t look like brain maps. They looked like city-scapes. This really bugged me for some reason. When I look at the cover of the novel, it makes more sense.
  • Bobby decides to throw in an inspirational line.  To me, it doesn’t resonate with Bobby, it doesn’t seem natural. And there really is no set up – it’s just thrown in when Bobby stops by.
  • I wanted to really like seeing the honesty in Aaron at the end. But I have a hard time with the inconsistency from every other image of him in the movie. Perhaps if he just stopped to show concern for his friend that would be enough, but the other words just aren’t believable.
  • There is a scene where the group in the hospital plays instruments and Craig is put up to singing.  This is meant to be a sort of transformational scene, but we get completely robbed of witnessing the actual transformation.  Instead we get some fantasy reel.  I would have loved seeing him start timid then come to life as he embraces the lyrics and energy of the song.


So, I write all of this, and I’m sure it sounds like I hated it, but there were some good pieces.  Remember that I’m just an amateur and to take everything with about ten grains of salt!  The reviews on movie sites are pretty mixed. Some thought it was pretty funny (unlike me).  The novel, however, is rated very high.  Perhaps it is simply a miss in translation from print to screen and it still worked for some but not others.

This was a fun exercise and I’m likely to do it again.

Script Review (Part 1): It’s Kind of a Funny Story

For this exercise, I elected to read a script for a movie I have not yet seen, so that I can see how the movie played out compared to my read.  This analysis will have two posts.  Part 1, below, will be my analysis of the script itself, and the next post, Part 2, will be my comments after viewing the film.

Please remember, my intent with these script review posts will be to point out the things I thought were notable – unique aspects of the script or story based on my (albeit novice) experience and as seen from my eyes.

Part 1 – The Read


I picked this script because of the title and the fact that I had not yet seen the movie (or read the book).  In fact, I had forgotten hearing or seeing anything about it. While I have since looked at the IMDB listing to check the user rating and other details.  You can find the script online (


Young Craig is caving under the pressures of the expectations of his current academic path and the awkward situation of being in love with his best friend’s girl.  Fearing his ongoing and escalating suicidal feelings, he seeks admission to the hospital for treatment. The story was written for the screen by Ryan Fleck & Anna Boden, based on the novel by Ned Vizzini.


The movie is listed several ways on the major sites: “Comedy-drama”, “Art House”, “Drama”, and the trifecta “Comedy-drama-romance.”  One could even give it a nod as a coming-of-age drama, so possibly this movie is trying to be everything.

Art House – After wading through a few pretentious article on what constitutes an Art film, and the state of the art film today, I did find a good source linked from Wikipedia topic “Art film”.  In the article by Lindsay Steenberg, actually referring to one of the references, we find an informative view on what the art film is:

Bordwell further describes the structuring basis of the art cinema as based on “‘objective’ realism, ‘expressive’ or subjective realism, and narrational commentary.” In brief, the art cinema relies on a recognizable authorial voice (or narrational commentary), self-reflexive stylistic choices, causal gaps in the narrative, episodic structure, ambiguity in reading, and a plot which relies on complex psychology rather than goal fixated action to provide forward momentum.  

You can read Steenberg’s full article here:

Drama – If drama is meant to show us characters as we would like to be, whereas comedy is meant to show how we really are (per our excellent teacher, Steve Kaplan), then we are inclined to classify this script as a drama.  Even though we don’t necessarily hope to land in the mental hospital, we may hope that 1) we would be strong enough to seek help and admit ourselves before taking drastic steps, just as Craig did, and 2) we would maintain a caring and pleasant attitude such as Bobby’s, if we found ourselves in his situation.

Comedy – While there are humorous lines, I don’t really see the typical comic conventions in this film, so I think it’s a stretch to put it in this category. If I’m in the mood for a comedy, and someone recommends this movie, I’m not satisfied at the end. In fact, it seems a bit odd that we are supposed to take Craig’s situation as serious, but also be encouraged to laugh at his fellow patients.

Romance – While there are two key romantic sub-plots, I would hesitate to refer to this as a romance.  The thin-ness of the two connections may actually be good representation of teen love, however.

General Structure

The script is at 115 pages, for the copy that I have. The movie clocks in at 1:41.

  • The setup of the situation and scenario runs until Craig is resolved to spend the minimum 5 days in the hospital; this covers the first 22 pages.
  • The journey for Craig lasts most of the five days, until he gets the turning words of wisdom from Bobby, which is on page 93 (71 pages).
  • From here, it’s a quick run through tying up loose ends and getting Craig out (22 pages).

Because of the schema we are dealing with, I’m not forming an opinion on the ratio of the sections.

Notable Script Tidbits

Voice Overs – Given the storyline is in the psychology of Craig, it makes sense that there is a heavy dose of voice overs.  In reading, I have become concerned it will be too much.  It will be interesting to see how it plays out on the screen.

Dream sequence, Flashbacks and Fantasy – Again, because we are really going through the story with full access of Craig’s point of view, we also wander through his thoughts in these varying forms. Technically, even within the same variation type the directives are noted a bit inconsistently (leaving me to wonder if it is intentional or not). One of the markings isn’t clear to me, where each step is marked with a reverse order letter with an ID which seemed to correspond to nothing (Possibly scene? But the number seems high…see page 35).

Supers – These are used to help keep the user oriented to the timeline and what is real.

Insert – This was a shot directive, used a few times. It is not one I see used often.

Speaking of scenes, I’d be interested to see how the non-current-day pieces are included in the scene counting.


The characters do seem to have their own voices.  A few things stand out to me:

  • The interaction with the parents seems authentic.  The sort of obliviousness to the severity of the situation, the roles each parent plays, and the relation of the concern for the sister.
  • I think the writers do a nice job with the play between Craig and Noelle, mostly in the beginning.
  • The other is that the difference between Bobby, Craig and Noelle and the other patients in the way they speak demonstrated they were in different parts of the spectrum.


The premise is understandable: Teens dealing with pressure and not wanting to fail, the stress one feels, falling for a best friend’s significant other.  While I can see the transitions and identify transformational scene, it feels a bit forced, and overall a bit shallow of a story.  There are all of these touch points with people with real problems, but we don’t get deep enough, really, with anyone to truly achieve empathy or understand how the triggers really come to have impact. Even with Craig, we understand the idea of what makes him decide to stop the track he’s on, but we don’t buy into it fully.  Same can be said with suddenly getting over Nia.  I am hoping that the acting and directing help elevate the script, but seeing how little there is to work with, I’m not optimistic that this will happen.